My friend opened a salon which specializes in eye last extensions. When she began this journey, which was a step in faith for her ~ I thought YOU GO GIRL and I made a decision, I was going to support not only my friend. But my dream of finally having eye lashes…. Ahhhh.
I then looked into this dream a bit further SIDE NOTE: if you truly know me, you know I don’t just “go for it” although I’d like to pretend I’m a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal. I am not. I tend to over think. I over analyze and I over talk- meaning I’m a big talker. When I say I’m going to order the fish and chips for instance – my family knows I’m lying. I would like to think I’d actually order it, but I never will. Guilt overwhelms me and I feel the grease clogging my arteries before the waitress ever returns to take the order. Okay all of that said. I was excited about eye lashes and so I did my research. I logged on to see what kind of investment I was going to be making. O U C H. I had no idea the price of beauty! My routine is very minimalist and I don’t do a lot of “me” pampering. It’s a big deal if I pay more than $5 for nail polish! So when I realized the price to have beautiful eye lashes was a grocery bill ~ I was OUT! I couldn’t justify it. And then there was the returning to have them “filled” every few weeks. Now, let me share, they do look FABULOUS on those I’ve seen and I would SO love the look, but just as quickly as I was dreaming about washing my face to lie down and have the lashes put on, I was putting on mascara and telling myself I was happy with my lashes just like they are. These are the lashes Jesus gave me after all – yeah, Thanks Man!
Fast forward a few weeks later, some seriously stressful situations for which I found myself in the midst of and flair up. I have an auto immune disease, when I am stressed it flares. When it flares, I loose hair. OK. That said, I look in the mirror as I’m getting ready for bed one night and notice there is a small section of eyelashes missing. ODD. I’ve only had this happen one other time, a time when I was VERY stressed. My heart sinks and I think to myself, it’s a small section – I am a wonder woman with mascara, I can work through this. And I do. No big deal, well Okay I really big fake like it’s no big deal as I try and make it through.
A few days later MORE lashes gone. Now I’m down to a very small section which isn’t really looking to great. I am not going to lie. I was a little upset with Jesus at this point ~ I can handle the hair falling out on my head, as I’ve mastered hiding that after many years, but this. I look like a weirdo with lashes on ONE EYE. OK weirdo is a bit strong. But you get where I am going with this.
This morning I posted a photo of my naked eye on Instagram. Funny the friends who reached out with sympathy and suggestions (THANK YOU). They get me, they get we’re girls and eye lashes are JUST lashes but they are more.
I took a short break and went for a drive this afternoon.
I thought HOW TERRIBLE! I’m having a mini cry baby break down over losing eyelashes. EYE LASHES and there are women who are missing limbs! Who don’t have fingers. Who have no hair on their head. Who never had even slight eye lashes. Who are missing breasts. Who are missing feet. Who have greater and bigger issues than I can even begin to imagine and I’m whining because I’m missing eye lashes. God humbled me. He nudged me and reminded me He really did make me beautiful and wonderfully made. He reminded me how blessed I am to have a healthy body. He reminded me how blessed I am to have control (most of the time!) over my lupus. He reminded me He knows every hair on my head and those falling to the floor. He reminded me He knows my eyelashes are missing and then He reminded me… stop being self-absorbed. He reminded me to look at ME like I would look at others. With love. Without conditions and with a heart that sees the beauty in the ashes. NOT in the eye lashes.
Ohhh Thank you Jesus. He reminded me sometimes it takes a HARD NUDGE to bring us back to Him and a message He needs to share.
He removed my lashes because they were in the way of seeing the beauty in the blessings I do have. Awww well played Lord!
And as I have this conversation with Him in my car, sharing my heart and my understanding the thought came into my head and I’m certain it was Jesus ~bringing humor to my day..... why couldn’t He have removed the hair from my legs, I know that would have gotten my attention too! and He smiles, Oh but that wouldn’t have led me to Him.
I truly believe All Things Are from God and God Is Good in All Things! Thank you Jesus for the many (MANY) blessings I find myself overlooking. And thank you for the sometimes painful (vainful) reminders. WE ARE ENOUGH! And we are Beautifully and Wonderfully Made by you.