My father committed suicide when I was almost six. I have asked WHY my entire life. When people ask about my dad, I say "he died when I was little" and I leave it at that. I'm not for certain why I feel a bit of shame personally at the reality of his taking his own life. I suspect because it isn't how it's suppose to be ~ and because I feel somewhat accountable in some small way for not being more, not being enough for him to want to live.
Robin Williams family will never understand, no matter how much therapy, no matter how much support and no matter how much time comes to pass. The fact of the matter is, there are no answers to the WHY. If he left a letter, he also left more questions.
My entire life I've tried to understand how and why one would think suicide was the answer. It is not, EVER!
I also ask myself often, how does God see suicide? Will I see my dad again? Did he go to heaven? Does God see this differently than we do, or is it murder, murder of ones self. Again. more unanswered questions.
Today I hope as people talk about the tragic death of Robin Williams it brings forth a blessing. I pray for the many people out there who are in a state of mind beyond our comprehension, in a place of pain others can not begin to understand. I pray for those who feel so alone and disconnected to be touched by just one person who will turn their entire world around. Today I pray for Robin Williams family and the many other families who have been touched by the tragic event of a suicide. God is far bigger than any issues we face, any depression, any trouble, any hurt. I pray for those who are unsure, uncertain and unclear to be touched in such a way ~ the contemplation of ending a life is exchanged with seeking a new life.
Today my prayer is Jesus be revealed to those who are hurting & a life be saved because someone reached for Jesus who died to save us all.