Not just in my own handpicked situations - in all situations, circumstances, issues, hang-ups, hiccups, hurts, headaches and most certainly happy times and times to celebrate too.
I seek His direction. I seek to hear Him. I seek to see Him. I seek to feel Him.
So when I am tripped up by what some may consider a road block, I see it as a detour and redirection by God. Sometimes it is just a speed bump to remind me to slow down. A way for him to move me in the direction He has chosen. I believe until He, Himself puts the sign up “NOT THIS WAY”. And He has. I will continue to move forward seeking Him before me. The road blocks, redirections or speed bumps I believe are when He is telling me LOOK TO ME. SEEK ME. HEAR ME. FEEL ME. And when He has my attention, HE moves me in the direction He has already decided long before I knew the journey to where I should go.
It is hard when you are feeling so directed and optimistic in where God is leading, and those on the journey with you are burdened with frustration, which leads to doubt, which leads to hurt, which leads to anger, which leads to putting you in a place where you are wounded through the process. Your heart is bruised because all of those emotions are projected onto you. It isn’t their intention to hurt, bruise or upset
you. Not their intention at all, it just happens. I’ve done it, I get it. But it doesn’t make the bruised heart any easier in the moment.
When I am hurt in such a way, knowing it is unintentional, I find I need to be quiet. I need to find my thoughts and I need to sift through my feelings, the situation. And I need to pray. I don’t want to react in such a way that creates a situation that is more painful for both of us. I don’t want to escalate things with being difficult or not understanding. I need to be still with myself. I need to seek God’s intervention.
Yesterday we had a “road block” to one of us, a detour to the other. And with that came the frustration, anger, hurt, disappointment etc.
I needed to be still.
I received a text message (which I do not agree with real communication via text) and as I read it, I put my perception of tone in the receiving. I knew this upon reading it. So I did not reply. It hurt my feelings, that wasn't the intention ( I knew that) in the delivery. In the delivery it was meant to make a point. Ugggg Communication, sometimes it just… well, it sucks.
We were apart for the day, upon arriving home later in the evening, we said hello and I was asked Why I was mad. I wasn’t mad and I shared I wasn’t. I also shared, I needed time to process. I was honest. I needed time to be still.
Our evening was “fine”. We interacted, although not truly engaging, but being near one another and showing affection. I still love him in my hurt.
I went into the bathroom. I closed the door and I asked “Jesus be here with me in this place”. And I continued to pray that over and over and over. When I said “in this place”… clearly I didn’t mean in the bathroom! I meant, be IN ME. Be in US. Be in THE SITUATION. I needed Him. I needed Him to come into OUR PLACE, into OUR HEARTS, into OUR SITUATION and I needed to know that He would heal the hurts and provide the opportunity for a positive conversation.
Communication isn’t always easy. Sometimes it is very difficult. Sometimes being honest is even harder. We did communicate, it was difficult, we were honest and our hearts were protected and directed IN THIS PLACE.
This morning perspective a bit clearer, hearts feeling closer, communication more open, we were able to move forward. I saw it as God preparing us for “RE DIRECTION” and I believe perhaps we came to see there may be some “DETOURS”. The road block that seemed so big and overwhelming, was coming into perspective.
I still believe God is before us and if we are patient. If we seek His will and His timing, He will bless us beyond what we are able to comprehend in this moment. I
continue to follow, and until I see/feel/hear TURN AROUND, DANGER, NOT THIS WAY, DEAD END.
I will continue to follow Him. God is so abundantly capable of so much more than we are able to understand!
*smiling. My husband is a SIGN GUY -he works for the transportation department, and his job is to make sure signs are clear and understood. I'm a SIGN GIRL..I look for signs of encouragement and guidance ... We both understand the need for signs, however our signs are completely and utterly different ; )