Do you ever feel there is simply not enough time in the day, the week, the month... the year? Do you hear the clock ticking and wonder what it would be like to hush it or stop it for just a moment? I DO!
There has been a growing bit of frustration in me because I don't feel I have enough time to do the things I want, to go the places I want to go, to see the people I want to see, to get the amount of sleep I truly feel I need. I grow impatient with myself and others at these times. If I only had five minutes, if I only had an hour.... If someone else wouldn't mind cooking dinner so I could go for a walk. If I could rise just a bit earlier so that I could get in my blog, reading a book and exercise.
Hummmm where does all my time go?
After giving this question some serious consideration I've come to a very direct and painful conclusion - I WASTE IT. ouch... reality isn't always a pretty thing is it. WHAT? Me waste time? Not possible. I'm someone who is well organized, mindful of tasks and constantly on the go doing something. HOW could it be that any amount of my time is truly being wasted? oh yes. THAT. The desire to be with my family, not doing "my thing" because I'm overcome with this terrible guilt when I go about my business and not include or partake in what is going on within my household. ohhh yes. MY OWN DOING. Ironically, my family who would be so understanding if I shared "I need to go for a walk" or "I'm going to be out in the garage working on a project" or "I am going to bed early" would be rather supportive - so where do I find this hat of guilt that I wear upon consideration of doing "me things"?
This morning as I really sift through my own guilt over the gift of time that I'm piddlin' away, I realize that it isn't really anyone's issue but mine. And I could make changes so that I have more time. I simply need to be creative and clever in my massaging things into place. Another thing, maybe my "ME" time, isn't all about ME. Maybe I take off my stubborn independent hat and replace it with a come and join me hat ... hummmm
So if I wish to take a walk in the evening and the guilt of ditching my family weighs heavy, perhaps I invite one or all of them to tag along! If I have a craft project or domestic creation I'm wishing to complete, I ask for a helping hand. Yes, there is a great fear in me even considering the ask of help...err umm not help but assistance! Yes, I could certainly ask for assistance.
I love to read - My daughter has a 15 minute read each evening, we need to sit side by side and enjoy our books together! Typically I listen to her read while I am preparing dinner - so I put dinner in and then we read!
There is always laundry, my husband and I tag team it through the week so that there isn't an abundance of it on the weekend - freeing up time for projects and fun! I really truly have got to fit exercise into my day, a short walk on my lunch hour could do me (and for my family) wonders. With Christmas coming, there are gifts to be made and shopping to be done, if I start now and work on it in between putting kids to bed and hitting the hay myself, I'll make some headway. I have a number of friends who invite me to go and do often. I love my friends! I can admit here I love my family more, it is a difficult choice for me when choosing to go out with my girlfriends... maybe we double date or have mom and me outings. Yes, to indulge in girlfriends & family! *side note: I am very good in nurturing my friendships over lunch - I'm able to take that time and truly indulge in them as my family is at work or school ;)
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens" Ecclesiastes 3:1
If I am creative and turn the ME time into WE time, I'm really turning the clock in positive direction not only for myself, but for my family. Oh I do love mornings when I sift through the jumble of junk in my head sorting it out here upon this screen... bringing it all together. Look at me, MULTI TASKING right here. Lunches are made, hubby is off to work, sweet sis is still sleeping, the house is quiet and I'm multitasking! WHOOO HOOO it's a start!
HHHHHOLD UP! and here it comes... reality check:
Perhaps I should take off the hat of guilt and realize that I need my time away from my family. There is nothing wrong with doing my own thing, they encourage me and support me, so truthfully I'm putting on that hat of guilt because I have done so for so often. Today perhaps I'll toss it in a corner with the understanding when we allow ourselves time alone, with friends, indulging in something that makes us happy - the rewards personally are wonderful! And the reward in feeling good about yourself or something you have accomplished oozes into other parts of your life, your relationships.
Ohhh I'm so glad we had this morning together. So thankful for the time shared ~ thank you for listening to me babble! As I sifted through my thoughts with you, I found the BLESSING in my BABBLE... and you just thought it was a catchy title, HA! Time to wake my sweet pea and since I'm finished a bit early this morning, I think I may sneak in and make time for snugglin' before we begin our day. Ohhh God is good! See how He did that... adding minutes to my day already. BLESSED INDEED : )