That doesn't mean He didn't answer, it means it looked different to me than expected.
Today, I was soaking in this.
I thought about this too. If God hasn't given us an answer to a question, perhaps we don't need an answer, because He's already equipped us. Perhaps God is asking us to seek differently, to see things from a different view.
In a season when we are seeking answers, perhaps what He has already blessed us with is the answer. And perhaps we are using the answers as a crutch, rather than a Christ-given gift.
So, this became very clear from a different seat the other night when talking with a friend who shared with me how she saw the blessing of my sweet Tika Grace coming into my life, and my dear AJ parting.
What she shared was so clear, from her chair, however where I sat I couldn't see it until she opened it up for me. God was answering my question, though a friend, not how I expected it to look.
What she shared was such truth.
I knew God blessed me with Tika Grace. I know! I have never questioned that. I also knew God blessed me with AJ. What I didn't understand was why He would bring one to take the other, when He knew I loved AJ so very much.
This is where my friend and her perspective brought my answer. She shared, had God-given me Tika the week before AJ passed, I would not have fallen so deeply in love with her as I have.
When I thought about that, I of course, as I do, over thought it.
Jesus gifted me, Tika Grace, back in April, as He saw what was to come in November. He knew He would need AJ back and did not want to leave me alone. He knew I had Ruby, however, He also knew Ruby has a kennel located near the barn. AJ, his kennel was near the back door. His eyes were the first two eyes I saw each day. Knowing Ruby won't ever leave her little castle, I suspect God knew back in April I would need sweet eyes to greet me after He took AJ home.
God gifted me, Tika Grace because God had a plan. He was working it all together for my good. He brought that hyperactive, ball of fire, full of love and life dog into my world when He did so I would fall in love with her. He brought her at the beginning of the Pandemic, knowing she was with puppies and she would need me because I had (have) friends who need the blessing of her offspring in their lives too.
When God took AJ home, He did it at a time when I was struggling with Tika Grace and her kennel. As silly as this is! I was frustrated because I was having trouble keeping her clean because the girl loves to roll in the mud and where her kennel is, there's plenty of it!
As I sit back and look over the unfolding of the past week, I see God's hands all over it! All. Over. It.
I see where He brought this sweet Tika Grace into my world. I see Him bringing those sweet puppies into our lives so that we could gift them forward to friends, who now share the overwhelming joy they experience because I brought that sweet girl home. I see how Jesus nurtured my love and relationship with Tika Grace, building it day by day as we bonded. And I see how God chose the timing for taking AJ when He did. I'm still not happy about it, however, I have come to a place where I'm no longer mad at God. I know God is good, God is faithful.
There have been times when I ask God for answers to questions and he doesn't answer me. Okay, that's not fair. He answers me, however, sometimes it's not in the way I thought it would look or how I expect it to look, or how I want it to look. for us.
God doesn't always provide me with answers, however, He always, always provides to fulfill my needs. Just as He did the day He took my sweet AJ home.
I had Wednesday off for Veterans day and because I had vacation time I have to use before the end of the year, I also took Thursday and Friday off. I had intended to go see my dad on those days, however, it did not work out on his end.
In this, I see clearly, God too saw when I requested the time off at the end of October, I would be home with AJ the last two days before he was taken home.
God is a good good Father. If we are able to open the book of our life and read it backward, I believe one day we will. We will see God's hands all over our lives.
I'm soaking in the reality, many of my blessings have not come in the way or form I thought I would see them. However, they came just as God designed and when I look back, I see God's hands all over my blessings, my life and I am abundantly grateful.
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.