Last night while visiting with my daughter, it did just that. It's not uncommon that we have a conversation in regard to faith, or God or blessings. It really is a pretty common conversation, however every once in a while she really does get me right in the center of my heart and I think to myself THANK YOU JESUS for giving me this beautiful gift to nurture and love and teach and LEARN WITH.
We're driving along and she shares with me, "Mom, sometimes I think it wouldn't be so terrible to have cancer. Not that I want cancer because nobody wants cancer! But I think about it and how awesome it would be to feel God working in your body, to feel him inside you healing you and working in you". GASPING FOR AIR who says it wouldn't be terrible to have cancer!?!??!
I explain how severe it really is when one has cancer and she assures me, she understands and doesn't want cancer for herself or anyone else. But that her desire is to feel Jesus working to heal inside of her, to really really feel Jesus.
I share with my sweet girl, we hear and feel Jesus every day, even when we are healthy and we don't need to be sick to feel Him or hear Him. She goes on to share "Mom, sometimes I think I hear Jesus talking to me. Like in Sunday school they say be still and listen to Jesus and I think I hear Him but then I tell myself that's just me and it isn't realllllly Jesus. But I really do want to hear Him mom. But I'm not sure what he sounds like and then I think if I hear Him is it going to scare me." I smile.
I GET IT!
I share with my daughter that I too seek to hear Jesus, that I want so desperately to hear His voice, to know beyond a doubt it is He speaking and not me making something up inside my head thinking its Him. We visit for a bit and come to the conclusion that Jesus does talk to us, and we do hear Him but we don't always understand when it is His voice.
I shared with my daughter about waking in the middle of the night and hearing Be Strong, Be Brave, Be Courageous and how when I left the hospital yesterday I wondered if it were me telling myself that or Jesus. I had doubts it was Jesus because I didn't have anything to worry about. His hand was on me and I didn't have any worries or issues. But maybe He wasn't telling me this in the moment, maybe He was telling me this to remember in life. Maybe I need to remind myself in good times and difficult, to be strong. To be brave and to be courageous. Maybe He is telling me now so I remember it when I need it. Oh I don't know. But as we sat there and visited about it, I came to the conclusion it was Him. It wasn't me, it wasn't my trying to build myself up for the "what if". It was Jesus building me for the When You Need It. Ohhhh He's good! And then not only does He share such a message with me, but with my girl with a curl as well! Yep, once again I stand in awe of Him.
It is such an amazing gift when your child seeks to have a relationship with God. There is nothing absolutely nothing on this planet that brings my heart greater joy than to know my children are followers of Jesus and they seek to have a relationship with Him. Oh my momma heart is full!
I often pray Jesus speak to me, to know that He is there to hear Him, truly hear Him. This morning, I pray this prayer for my daughter as well, oh that He would speak to her in such a way she stops and realizes and whispers THANK YOU JESUS.
Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always Psalm 105:4