I was the mother of a son, and I was good at it. I knew boys! I had brothers, all the kids in the neighborhood where I grew up were boys, boys and more boys. I knew legos, sports, hiking and dirt. And I knew it all well.
There wasn't hair to do (you run a quick wet brush through it and you are good to go) there weren't bows (he learned to tie his own shoes early on), there weren't fancy dresses or shoes (a nice polo and clean brown slip-ons worked).
I remember the day clearly. We had come home from a vacation and I'd only recalled one other time in my life my body feeling as it did. That is when I was pregnant with my son. Even then I wasn't sure I was pregnant, I'd never been before how was I to know? This time, the familiar tenderness in my breasts, the ache in my lower back, the smell of spices turning my tummy, it all seemed familiar. BUT, also seemed not likely and near impossible truth be told.
I got up early on a Saturday and went to the grocery store, nothing on my list but on my mind a pregnancy test. WHY is it when we are grown adults, married and have absolutely no reason to feel shame do we hide when looking at birth control and pregnancy tests? I mean I'm pretty sure the world has some idea that "THAT" is taking place. Morphed into a child I grab the stick and run to the check out throwing a few miscellaneous items on to throw off the checker (yeah right). She gets to the pregnancy test (keeping in mind I live in a small town) and holds it up and smiles big "ohhh you must be excited to get home!" Me, I smile (half) back and say Yes! Only the real excitement for me was getting outta that line!
To my car I head. I didn't want to drive home and take the test, I didn't want anyone to know I may or may not be "with child". So I did what any woman who is half wacked thinking at the age of 34 she could be pregnant with another child ten years after the first. HOLY MOLY just the thought was enough to make me freak out. I pulled into the parking lot at Burger King, where I never dine! I dug through my grocery bags and I pulled out the pregnancy test, tucked it in my purse and with confidence I marched right into the ladies room.
"I'm not pregnant. I can't be. We've had sex like one time in how many months? *our marriage was not in a strong place, I'm 34 years old, I have a nine year old" all thoughts running through my head. And then I thought "I can't believe that God thinks at this point in my life I need another child, my marriage is frayed, my time is limited, and I've got no desire at this point for a second child."
I open the box, piddle on the stick and I wait. And then I look GASP!
TWO BLUE LINES.... I'm going to be a mom!
I AM GOING TO BE A MOM.... ok. I've done this, I can do this again.
Three months later while having an ultra sound, Dr. Jake (a dear friend) says "Blake it looks like a sister" I'm not sure who was more surprised Blake or me. I was convinced that I would have two boys, for three months I'd talked myself into raising another boy. Hold up WHAT! What did he say, did he say A GIRL? A BABY GIRL??? I don't know girls!
The very moment I saw her, the fact she was a girl didn't matter.
During labor we had to work together she and I. She was wrapped in her umbilical cord - her determination to exit and my ability to "hold" so that the doctor could work to untangle her was an example of our ability to work together. As soon as her little body was laid upon mine, it was clear we were a team.
Today that bundle of blessing, is such a girly girl at nine years old. She loves hair, fashion, make up. She knows what is fashionable and hip in all age groups. She does amazing things with hair and clothes. I couldn't imagine then what I was in for and even today I find myself bewildered with "girly girl". She always gravitates to pink, hot pink mostly. And anything with BLING.
For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-14
I'm still not an expert on girls, and don't believe for a minute I will ever be, I mean... after all I AM A GIRL and even I don't understand us ;) But I do get my daughter, my BFF, my supporter, lifter, encourager, prayer partner, fun seeker, silly live life to the fullest friend.
My daughter and I have a pretty awesome friendship. First, I am her mother. And second I am her friend. So blessed to have A DAUGHTER, and so grateful for MY GIRLY GIRL ~ "Sissy Roonie Doodle Bopper".