This morning it occurred to me, I don't give a great deal of serious thought when people are not there any longer. I mean I think about it and I wonder what happened and most often I presume it is because our interests have changed, our seasons turned at different times or we are simply too busy to catch up.
Until today it didn't really "hit me" that sometimes it absolutely isn't by accident either when God removes people from our lives. I am not meaning by death, I am meaning out of our circle.
I have a friends who I truly do love and care for, deeply. But if I'm honest and I feel I can be here [thank you!] there are friends which require far more energy and attention than I have. Because their energy is rather .... negative. It takes much more energy and effort for me to reach out to reel them in closer because well, frankly, they bump into my happy and in my efforts to try to lift and encourage them, they suck the joy out of me.
Last summer I went to lunch with a friend, who I adore. We don't go often so I was looking forward to visiting and catching up. Upon leaving it occurred to me, my mood which was excited and happy upon arriving left drained and a bit irritated. I was so looking forward to seeing her and sharing happy. Well, she had nothing but negative pouring out of her.
I'm not sure how or why, but we've not talked in well over two months. And I'm completely and totally fine with that. Seems the friend who I do still adore, has been distanced from my thoughts. Not that I don't think about her, I do. But I don't think about bringing her back into my circle ~ I suspect God is very much seeded in that.
I am at a place in my life where I want to be the best me possible. Being the best me, doesn't mean breaking down others. Being the best me, means loving my husband when he's being unlovable and not bad mouthing or complaining to others about him. Being the best me, means putting my children as a priority in my life and when they fall short, working with them to grow, not grow frustrated and become ugly with them. Being the best me, means making time to take care of myself and sometimes, that requires being a bit selfish with my time for running. Being the best me, means surrounding myself with positive, encouraging, God seeded women who build one another up, who are sitting around complaining about their jobs, husbands, kids and life.
Friendships have seasons ~ and sometimes those seasons don't return. They are removed. We must trust God knows what He is doing.
I had a friend who I did EVERYTHING with when my son was younger, every weekend our families were together, holidays together, sporting events cheering side by side. Life changed and we "drifted". As I stop and look at where I am today and where she is, we are at different places. Not bad, just different. And I see why God moved us from one another. I don't always understand when friends are "distanced" from us but I trust His path. And just because there is distance or they have been removed doesn't mean you weren't friends, or that you may not be again some day.
Today I'm thanking Jesus for those incredible, amazing women He has put into my life and those He has removed because I trust Him on this journey and I'm so open to where He is leading me and embracing those whom He has put on the path to share the journey during this season.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 2:26