It was long and it was detailed and... then it was lost!
I gasped, got frustrated, and then shut the laptop.
I paused and thought to myself, perhaps what I was feeling was more babble than blessing and I walked on.
I went on with my morning and opinions were shared and my anxiety went sideways and I just wanted to shout STOP.
And then I humbly sat myself down and leaned in to understanding.
We are all trying to navigate what is going on in our world. Not one of us understands it (if you do, you are the chosen few). Most often when we don't understand something we need to talk about it. We need to invite people in who are like minded and we need validation.
At this time, in this season I am personally overwhelmed with anxiety I can not articulate. I want to cry, I want to yell, I want to tell people what I feel and what I don't feel, I want to say "I get it" and I want to say "Sit down and zip it".
However, my heart tells me be quiet. Be still. Be content with not sharing. Be compassionate to those who feel they must.
And Jesus whispers, it is alright to need to process in silence.
Friends, I don't walk away or not engage because my lack of caring. I do so because I need to, for me and for you.
I'm finding for me, quiet is my best resource. All of the personal opinions, the lines in the sand, the "Don't they get it", the "How can anyone think...." comments. It is all too much for me. I love you, I appreciate you, but right now, I can't be there with you.
I know we are all navigating the best we can, and I hope you are finding what works best for you. For me, in this season, I am simply needing to remove myself and navigate as best I can without all of the worldly noise and influence.
I love my circle, and I love the people who share with me. For right now, for me, I simply must pause and not engage as I seek to find my peace in all of this.
My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. Proverbs 5:1-2 ESV