It is so hard to find grace when you really just wanna scream and yell and tell someone how hurtful and mean spirited and ugly they are.
However, I have found that biting your lip, turning your cheek and understanding we are all fighting our own private battles is a better way to go... and to show, GRACE.
Two instances yesterday allowed me to seek God and to understand, the battles aren't always mine. The ugly isn't always me and I don't always need react in such a manner that is less than what God would have it be.
When someone was just mean, ugly and wanting a reaction, I turned my cheek, focused my eyes on what was truly important and walked away. Was it easy? Well, not easy, but I was able, only because I'm prayer over this particular person and situation. It isn't the first time mean, ugly I wanna make you feel as bitter as me has reared her head. I refuse to go there. I know in going there, I leave God and walk a path I have no desire to be on. So I have made the choice to be obedient to God and follow as I feel He has led me, AWAY from the situation and into GRACE.
I get passed that, feeling a bit frustrated as I don't understand the situation and I move on.
Later, I am faced with hurtful words from someone going through something I have nothing to do with. Feeling defeated, defensive and in a state of hurt they reacted in shouting mean, ugly and very hurtful things. Did I wanna shout "hey what about blah blah blah ..." Ummm only for a brief moment. However, I know God well enough to feel Him when I'm hurt. I know Him well enough to seek Him in my words and actions. Did I want to pick and poke and put pain back on them, well no. What I wanted was for them to see their behavior is hurting others and it isn't fair.
More than anything what I would like is for them to see, I am not a hurtful person, I don't say mean things, I don't react in a manner that makes others feel less and I don't appreciate the way they were treating those around them. In my reaction, in my stating there was worry about them, I can only hope they understood my communication wasn't self seeking. It was to encourage healing. In this particular situation my daughter was in the middle, her little heart breaking and her eyes leaking. As a momma there is nothing I wouldn't do for my child. I wanted to help her in a situation and help her little tender God loving heart.
I did raise my voice. I did not use hurtful words. I did not speak mean and I did not seek to make it about "me and my point". What I hoped I spoke was understanding and what I hope I showed when being spoken to in such a manner and not reacting back was grace.
I don't understand mean, hurtful, bitter or ugly people. I don't get it. We all wake up with a choice to be kind. I do understand circumstance come along and there are days when we will react differently, and for those I am understanding.
Today, those two situations which were presented yesterday - I seek to show Grace. I seek to show God and I seek to show Compassion. I will say a prayer for peace and understanding. Peace for those who are hurt and understanding for myself as I still reel in the whys of such hurtful behavior.
God seeks for us to go to Him with our hearts, with our hurts and for our healing. Today I will seek Him in both situations and be prayerful there is less of me in situations and more of Him.